Hmmm, remember last week when I wrote this:
I’ll be posting daily updates in case any one is interested in what this experience is like. Day 1 for me started off with me being sick – ugh. And, had to work. So, how can someone who works full time figure out how to write 1667 words a day?? I’ll find out.
Well, I’ll tell you how it went (as I shift uncomfortably in my chair): it was, um, nonexistent. For some reason, I always to use spell check on that word, always adding another “is” – my friend at work caught then on a spreadsheet I made. I died laughing. Caught.
Anyways, I’m trying to distract you with a funny story. Much like I did to myself all week. Up until today I wrote ZERO words. Ugh. This was much harder than I anticipated. I am clearly the Queen of Excuses. Kind of like when I had a test in college, that was the only time you’d find me cleaning like my life depended on it. My best friend knew, though, and she’d smirk and say to be funny: you must have a test tomorrow. Bingo.
I pulled the old procrastinate mode out this week. And, I don’t know why. Once I sat down today I got so excited about what I was writing I wanted to know how it would turn out! Like reading, I wanted to keep pecking away until I saw what happened. Because I haven’t figured out how my book ends.
What I learned this week:
Writing buddies ROCK: I had GREAT conversations with my writing buddy (yes, I’m so lucky to have a writing BUDDY!) about, you guessed it, not writing.
I learned that I will procrastinate even in things I enjoy. WHAT?! What does that even mean??? Yes, I had to work, yada yada, but come on – my job is in corporate America in a cube, while it can be emotionally stressful to be in a box, it’s not hard. I should have enough reserve left to devote to something I truly love. Yet, I didn’t.
I seemed to run from myself. It’s the darndest thing. I would describe this as the same thing I do in working out. I love love love to swim, do Body Pump, jog, do yoga. Yeeeeetttt, I’ll run from it as if it was hurting me, not helping me!! Even though I feel incredible afterwards. WHAT?! What does that even mean???
So, now I’m back at it: facing my story. It’s something like making myself look at my image in the mirror. Really taking note of how I actually am, not how I wish I was – and accepting myself. Writing brings out who you really are – like yourself or not. It’ll call on you to be dedicated and disciplined. UGH! Not my strengths. But, if I want to be sure of who I am, I have to do what I can do. And, stop running from myself.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this! Now, I need to get back at it instead of distracting myself with my blog. Oops.
Word count so far: 5,516 (44,484 words to go)